The names of the grunts that these are about are left out. But maybe if you are good you can figure out who the dope ... I mean the orc behind the story is.
It is always funny watching the new Gruntees learn the ropes. I was reminded of when I was about a month old in SC, and I was running around in the woods, doing little runtee things like trying to get my strength up to 60. Suddenly I was attacked by four humies! Gah! So I run back to the fort and yell that there are humans in the woods. Naturally the orcs pur forth and find my "humies". It was a Brigand Camp of shardie humans. Needless to say I caught some Poop for that one. (un-named orc)was particularly harsh to me for that one. Now she is my now my lairmate. Go figure.
Reply to the story above:
HAHA - I remember when I first came to Siege and did the exact same thing with my humie. I was hunting near our guild tower and all of a sudden a bunch of red names appeared on the edge of my screen and I got all these "SoAndSo is attacking you" messages. I ran like hell and started pigeoning everyone I could find.
*sighs*
my Gruntee days were so short back then you only had to be a Gruntee for 2 weeks I never once attended a single bootcamp (there was none then)
Dummest thing I did while as a Gruntee was Once a Grunt told me to cook him food (this was back before you could lock skills) and I told him no Cause I was thinking I did not want the skill of cooking. BIG MISTAKE telling a Grunt No.
Second Mistake was getting mouthy right after telling him NO Third mistake was After telling him NO and getting mouthy I hid.
har har I never did cook his food but I also wasn't alive for very much longer after that....
Hah I was really reluctant to come over and try this when a friend told me to. I thought all RPers were stupid and in order to get me to do it he had to walk me through every step of character creation because I refused to read the webpage.
After we were all done he walked me over to the fort. I realized I couldn't understand a single thing anyone was saying. My friend had to translate everything grunts ordered me to do over ICQ. Many grunts took this long delay as a refusal to obey an order. Hence I spent many of my first days learning the orcish language in the color gray.
ok ok I have a VERY stupid thing I did when I was a young Gruntee har.
I met a Gruntee who had a name very similar to a Grunt and we had been clomp gaming when a huge force came to raid the fort. After surviving the battle I had thought to resume the clomp game and MISTAKENLY thought the Orc I was attacking was my gruntee Friend har.
He walked away from me with an emoted *mutters* and with me not even looking at the boots I called him a umm har "WEENIE" for being afraid to fight me har.
Anyways.... I found a healer (no orcs could res at this point in time)about 10 mins later and came limping back to the fort feeling really red faced I had not noticed that it was a Grunt.
Lets see here, I was a pretty onoxious gruntee, I sang dumb songs about grunts.
I killed a warboss in a gruntee revolution (Ugagh) I also nearly killed the wargoth Aguk in a revolution, me and another gruntee revealed him in the corner of the little cabin thing in the fort, and we had him krimped, we had him within an inch of his life and decided to stop. Just then 4 grunts ran in and killed us both... several times... sooo many good stories from being a gruntee...
then again I was a gruntee for like 6 monthes because I was always getting into trouble.
My first orc character, (hidden name of orc), joined the clan as a gruntee right after the move to Cats (I actually made an orc on GL and tried to find the clan, but they'd just moved).
I had just started playing UO (waited to get the game for Christmas from my wife), so I was still learning how to play while I was learning how to be a gruntee. I remember one day getting about 450 shinies. That was the most shinies I'd ever had at one time. I had great plans for that money. I was going to buy a tent! Or maybe a boat!
But, back in those days, we died so often that I was afraid that I was going to lose my huge stash of shinies. I didn't want to give it to one of the grunts to hold for me, because they died about as often as I did. I kept hiding it in bags in the woods, but didn't like that because I'd lost those bags before. I kept seeing this non-orc around the fort that seemed to be our friend because he fought with us and didn't seem to die as often. I even heard he had a house to keep things in.
So, I gave the 450 shinies to him, made him promise to give it back to me later, and even made him say my name a few times so he'd remember me. Har!
One of these days I'll have to ask Boz for those shinies back.
I was back on Cats and this bad grunt who didn't seem to believe in Urucku gave me a mojo k'igg. I told him I wasn't supposed to have one, but he told me if anyone found it to tell them that he gave it to me. Given that he was the "youngest" of the grunts I was a bit uncertain. I was sweating bullets every time I used the k'igg, and luckily nobody snooped me for things a gruntee shouldn't have.
I got promoted to grunt about a week later by a nob (with my blud'leed-r standing next to her). I was kind of getting nervous that one of them would notice I had a magic k'igg armed (since my other k'igg broke or something). Little did I know that said nob probably either knew all about it or wouldn't have cared if she had found out.
That bad-influence grunt was her husband in real life (Blok/Ruggie). Of course he quite probably helped line up my promotion in that he told me to loot her stuff when she died during Ith's Warboss trip. When I finally found her online and gave her her mojo k'igg and whatnot back she made a big deal over what a good gruntee I'd been.
Then there was the time the Mak-rs had me working as a dancer in the bar they set up in the fort. Since gruntees (and Ruggie) were "tuu yung tu git in" I was given brown tribeless boots. I was kinda nervous about this but got away with it (since just like now people got promoted then before their titles changed). After a lot of drinking and dancing one Moonie nob or another decided we were all heathens and killed us all with boomjuice.
I'll never forget that one for the simple line of RP "Membur, if anyash asks, LAT NUB UNDURAJE!!!" Well that and the elaborate dancefloor me and the mak-rs set up. I tough a few grunts my UO-dances I'd developed back on Chessy during my RP days there.
My MITY KIGG OB DUUM (prepatch of power...OUCH) was given to me by a grunt on my second day, after just being killed by another grunt for not wearing gruntee boots. I thought she gave it to me because I was so funny and cool.....it was over a year before she realized it was a prepatch spear she gave me, since it didn't show as a magic spear
Ermm... me nub membur muj ob bein runtee... me just membur gittin hit in da hed alut by Varg agh sum udder grunts... me tink me wuz guud runtee.. but dem juz like hittin me in da hed. *shrugs*
More of these stories will be added when they come about.